Confused

Wow it's been a while, last time i wanted to write my fingers were not up to the task. It's been a while since i last blogged. I was trying to get in touch with my feelings and my soul. last time on the blog i was trying to write, that i asked her to be mine and to be my girlfriend and she replied "It was rude of me to ask her that", yeah i don't know why. So, the next Monday about two weeks ago i went to borders and i ran in to her and we end up sitting and talking and off course reading. She said " i was going to call you, but i had to study and you know how we just talk". The next day i called her "Asking if she wanted to have dinner with me tonight" and she said she will let me know. About 4 pm i get a text from her " Hey dear..... can we do this on friday after class". I was like sure i will make the reservations. on thursday night i get text from her " are we still on for tommorow". I replied "yeah".

Friday after class, we go out i am driving and as soon we get out she says this is not a date and i have to be back by 8 pm. I told never thought of it, you are still on trail and i u turn out crazy i will just run. We both laughed. So, we are walking on embarcadero in San Francisco and we had 2 hrs before the reservation, so went to Gordon beirsch ( i like this place alot right underneath the bay bridge and next to ocean). W talked and laughed and she told me about her conservative family and stuff. Then we went to the restaurant around 6pm and the waitress was nice. We were at the window next to ocean, a beautiful day in san francisco and right underneath the bridge. We talked and i brought up after many glasses of champange we drinked, that why didn't she say no rather than saying i was being rude when asked her to be my girlfriend. I reminded her that i know i was being aggressive, but i thought that's what she wanted to hear from me. I told her she can say no now, but she replied "No, is not my answer. I want to be your girlfriend in future and want to know you better. Also i am not ready". I don't know what to do, she is not ready, i makes assume that she is waiting for someone else to come along, but she don't understand that there are none better than me. She also said that it makes her scare that if  our relationship get serious, then her conservative parents will have a problem. To that i told her " i will fight wars for you"  and now with all her trust issues she will just to believe me.We were there till 11 pm and she never mentioned about going home. She didn't want to drive with me as we both were drunk, so we took muni and took her back to her apartment. She gave me a long hug and told me not to do anything stupid ( like trying to kiss her). I asked her we can do this again, so next friday we going on dinner again.

As soon as i left her text me that she had a great time, she texted me twice. I look forward to seeing her. The other day i again ran into her in library and we studied. I am very confused where this is going. I have no idea, but i really think this will be great....

Take care till next time

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